Rat's Nest
That was then, this is now.


Compliments, criticisms, and long, boring, senseless Marxist and/or Randian screeds to braue@ratsnest.win.net. Those I actually bother to read may have the names and addresses of their authors printed here; fair warning.

Thank you, Kathy...and I'll get on it, ma'am

Kathy Kinsley, whom I have long admired from afar linked to (her blog is On the Third Hand, BTW), mentions me, calling me "almost invariably entertaining". (Almost? Damn, have to try harder.)

She also notes: "He'd also get a lot more mentions if he'd learn to make permalinks -- yeah, that's a hint". I'm working on it, Kathy. Well, thinking hard about it. As hard as I ever think, at least.

From Kristin comes this horrifying account of a new date rape drug aimed at men. My eyes are opened, Kristin; from now on I'll stick to bourbon.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 01 Mar, 2002 11:54

What Century Is This?

What is this "iPod"? A PDQA? A virtual bean? Both? Neither?

I lead a surprisingly low-tech existence. Largely, this due to wagmoko; she’s never quite realized that this isn’t 1980 anymore (of course, her mother has never quite realized that this isn’t 1950 anymore, and is still unreconciled to the fact that she has to push buttons on her telephone, instead of using a dial like Somebody intended).

I recall wagimoko’s first encounter with a gas station credit card reader. We were driving to a friend’s house, and she said, "I’m getting low on gas". "Well," I responded, "get off the highway at the next exit; I know there’s a gas station there. I’ll fill your tank for you". We pulled the car in front on the pumps; I got out (this was a few years ago, when getting in and out of a car wasn’t such a big deal for me), swept a credit card through the reader, pressed the requisite buttons, and filled the tank. I then got back in the car and said, "OK, let’s go."

"Wait", said wagimoko, "you didn’t pay!"

"Sure I did; didn’t you see me put my card in the reader?"

"You mean you can pay without going into the office?"

Hon, that’s been possible for about 10 or 15 years now. Of course, if she has a choice, she buys her gas (and everything else relating to cars) at a little downtown garage where they have only two pumps and the owner comes out the office to handle them.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 01 Mar, 2002 11:52

Oops! She Did It Again.

I’ve alluded to the shallowness of "Stephanie Dupont" over at AintNoBadDude before (note to self: next time living will is updated, use her writings as examples of "brain dead"). But her latest effort proves that a walk through the ocean of her soul would scarcely get one’s feet wet (in the interests of not having the blogosphere come down on me for plagiarism, I will note that I stole that line from National Lampoon’s Radio Dinner album).

It is, admittedly, difficult to tell from her screeching screed just what "Mark" really thinks (or if he thinks at all; he may just smell nice and have a big, um, wallet). Apparently, however, "Mark" voted for Libertarian candidate Harry Browne, not because he is either a Libertarian or a libertarian, but because he feels the U.S. has swung too far in the other direction, and could use a healthy dose of libertarianism. Stephie was horrified to hear this from him, but was relieved that "he was just whacked out about politics and wasn't a libertarian". (I don’t know if her objections to libertarianism started when the folks over at Libertarian Samizdata justly castigated her for suggesting that the women at their bash were paid escorts, or if she has long feared that libertarians would cut her off from being a nomenklaturist or at least a bureaucrat, and make her try to find an actual job.

Well, "Mark", you’re in good company (aside from that date). I’m not a libertarian either, but I vote Libertarian when I have the opportunity, and for the same reasons. And to Steph and others who are horrified by that: when the Libs are about to control the Presidency and both House of Congress, and appoint a majority of SCOTUS; and when your twelve-year-old daughter’s live-in bisexual lover is buying her all the crack she can smoke, I’ll change my vote on the theory that this has gone too far.

But, even if I had a normal expectancy of life, I still wouldn’t expect to see that happen.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 01 Mar, 2002 11:50

The Kindness of Strangers

I spent yesterday being overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers, who put links to me in their posts and on their sidebars. Today, however, is another tomorrow, or something like that, and it is time for me to revert to my usual misanthropic self, bite someone in the leg, and get that sugary goo out of my mouth. A couple of bits of unfinished business first:

First, in my excitement, I completely forgot to put Suman Palit’s blog, the Kolkata Libertarian, on what will become my sidebar in another day or two (I’m working on the redesign. Really.) That was inexcusable.

And, Shauna, I wasn’t trolling for links (much). But I am flattered that you chose to read my blog. Incidentally, rubbing your hands with used coffee grounds will get rid of the onion smell.

That brilliant and highly attractive woman Megan McArdle wrote a short piece yesterday on baiting of the religious by the secular (and I’m not linking back to it to produce some sort of feedback loop. Not only, anyway). I agree with what she writes, and wish only to extend her remarks by saying this:

Good parody requires a solid understanding of your subject. Even descending to the lowest denominator of humor: black jokes, Jewish jokes, etc., requires an understanding of the prejudices and stereotypes held by your target audience. Failure to do so makes it much less likely that the audience will see any humor in what you say, and much more likely that they will avoid you as the type of microcephalic bigot that society occasionally throws up, but with whom decent people are not required to associate.

The best parodies of "A" are written by ex-"A"ists. The second-best are written by people who have studied "A", and know its weaknesses and foibles (there is some overlap here; the fact that you are, or were, an "A"ist does not necessarily mean that you have a deep and full understand of "A").

The worst parodies are invariably produced by hip, trendy people who don’t know diddly about "A", but think that they can take a few quotes and cause philosophical collapse in their opponents: "Oh, my, centuries and tradition utterly failed to take that in account! I foreswear all of my previous allegiances, and will go to cocktail parties instead of church or synagogue henceforth."

Maybe it works that way for Marx, baby. But not for Moshe Rabbeinu.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 01 Mar, 2002 11:40

So, it's as much as my life's worth to say this

I looked at the pictures from Liz's new webcam tonight.

At the risk of seeming to make light of her concerns, I can definitely say that any issues she may have with her appearance are bogus.

Liz, women are intended to look like women, not like drinking straws.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 28 Feb, 2002 11:57

Thank you, Suman

Ye cats! Will wonders never cease? Suman Palit, having found me via Live from the WTC, also finds me fit to link to. Thanks, Suman; I think that I may have finally arrived.

Incidentally, in his e-mail to me, Suman says: Nice blog.. needs permalinks though.. Well, let it not be said that I remain clueless in the face of repeated strong hints. I'll make the re-design to include permalinks a priority this weekend.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 02 Mar, 2002 11:59

Thank you, everyone!

Well! I did indeed get more hits today than I had gotten for a week!

That that happened was overwhelmingly due to Megan McArdle mentioning me. Again, Megan, I'm humbled to think that you feel my ramblings are worth reading.

Some of those hits were via Andrew Ian Dodge's Dodgeblog. I'm also grateful to you for referring to my blog as "good" (if that was a mistake, please let me remain mistaken :) ).

The hits that Megan's and Andrew's references had to overcome came largely via Booboolina, to which I have not hitherto linked permanently. Sorry, Kristin; I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really, really stupid and lazy.

Finally, whoever it was who got here by Goggling on "Natalija Radic", it's about time! I'm having serious doubts about the Slavic Siren's drawing power.

Of course, all this means I'll have to undertake a serious site re-design, with permalinks and a sidebar and so forth. Maybe this weekend. Maybe not, too.

Oh, yes. Although there's no link to me her site, Shauna did add me to her ICQ contact list and message me for over an hour. Thanx, Shauna.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 28 Feb, 2002 12:00

Thank you, Megan

Master of Abraham! Megan McArdle is kind enough to refer to me and I get more hits in a single day than I've ever had before. And it's not even 1300 here yet -- I may end up getting more hits today than I had all last week!

Both for thinking that something I've written is worth reading, and linking to it (not to mention editing your blog to spell my name correctly), thank you so very much. I'd call you a sweetheart, but I'd be afraid you would think that I was hitting on you.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 28 Feb, 2002 12:02

I'll be back when I'm, err, dry

Megan McArdle is apparently trolling (but not whoring; that's something completely different, as I once pointed out to Kathy Kinsley) for both hits and tips. I'm sure she's kidding about the quid pro quo, though. Besides, why would I want a photo of a tall, young, green-eyed woman in a...sheer...negligee...

Excuse me. I have to go take a cold shower.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 28 Feb, 2002 12:04

You have to take the bitter with the sour

I guess I can join the ranks of those reached by weird search engine hits now. Last night, someone found my log by searching Google for " non-circumcised".

No, I don't want to know why, thank you.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 28 Feb, 2002 12:05

Why we all think alike (except for liberals)

Ginger Stampley quotes Oliver Willis as to complaints about the lack of significant differences of opinion in the blogosphere these days, and weighs in with some comments of her own. Willis, e.g., writes:

Spend an hour or two at Weblogs.com or Blogger.com and just click through a bunch of blogs. I do it all the time because I want to hear fresh voices. Sure, for every good blog I sift through 30 crappy ones - oh well. But the coolness of blogging is more than the whole "warblog" thing. Already 90% of the warblogs are caught in an endless echo chamber where they just friggin' parrot each other"

and Stampley agrees:

Along those lines, I have been really enjoying the sojourn of Brian Linse's assistant, Stephanie Dupont, as ringmistress over on Ain't No Bad Dude (not just because she was kind enough to wish me well from the flu, either). The warblogosphere takes itself too damn seriously, and she's a breath of fresh air in what is becoming in many ways an increasingly incestuous community."

Well, aside from Dupont’s evident, umm, lack of depth, I think that Willis and Stampley miss the point: the blogosphere is a massive PHI-DEL.

For those not as up on the jargon of ‘60s project management as I, PHI-DEL was supposed to be the next step after brainstorming. Everyone wrote down their ideas; copies of all ideas were distributed to all participants (without names and titles). Everyone then commented on the ideas; the comments were also distributed to all participants, who rewrote their ideas in light of everyone else’s ideas and comments. After n iterations of this process (n being determined by how much slush you had in the budget), a consensus would emerge.

Of course, PHI-DEL was slow, expensive, and painful; not unexpected when the dissemination of an idea meant writing it in longhand on a piece of dead tree, and then handing it over to a secretary to be typed, mimeographed, and sent via interoffice snail-mail to others. Now, of course, we have blogs, which means that, for any given number of people, the process is much faster.

Now, of course, the blogosphere doesn’t make up a single community; not every person is directly linked to every other person in it. So ideas get bounced around and back and forth. OTOH, this process is how Matt Welch and Bill Quick end up approvingly quoting each other and writing, "My earlier remarks need correction in light of…"

So, Ginger, Oliver, you needn’t worry too much. What you’re seeing is the result of thousands of people talking to each other, rather than at each other, as too often happens in any setting more contentious that deciding what to watch on TV. It’s unfamiliar, of course; it’s been decades, at least, since reasoned discourse was replaced by shouting, demonstrating, and throwing cream pies (some would argue that reasoned discourse has never been resorted to on any appreciable scale). But you’ll get used to it in time.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 27 Feb, 2002 12:07

Mmm. Chocolate and...

This did not cause me to make any jokes about "milk chocolate". Really

John "Akatsukami" Braue 27 Feb, 2002 12:10

The Ethical Philosophy Selector

I was going to blog. Then I developed a headache, and by 1800 was so logy that I wasn't going to bother. A few (three is "a few", in my reckoning) aspirin took care of that problem, though, and now I'm blogging (if, as I just stopping noting above, you can call this a blog...)

Anyway, I note the Ethical Philosophy Selector. . My results were:

  1. Mill (100%)
  2. Kant (95%)
  3. Bentham (94%)
  4. Epicureans (63%)
  5. Sartre (63%)
  6. Aquinas (62%)
  7. Spinoza (62%)
  8. Prescriptivism (60%)
  9. Rand (59%)
  10. Aristotle (57%)
  11. Augustine (55%)
  12. Plato (54%)
  13. Stoics (44%)
  14. Ockham (39%)
  15. Cynics (39%)
  16. Noddings (37%)
  17. Hobbes (24%)
  18. Hume (24%)
  19. Nietzsche (24%)
Hmmm. I'm surprised that Kant came up so high. I may have to study him more closely.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 27 Feb, 2002 12:12

You're special, Una. But not that way.

We're all of us dying, Una. Just at different rates.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 25 Feb, 2002 12:13

A letter to Dr. Laura -- and a response

(UPDATE: This joke letter was from here. I got it via booboolina. I really ought to have noted these things the first time around.)

  1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    You ought not to be making sacrifices at all. It is forbidden to offer any sacrifice outside of the Bet haMikdash. Read tractate Kodashim instead.

  2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    It depends on whether or not your daughter is a virgin. The "virgin’s dowry" mandated in the Torah is 200 zuzim (or dinarim). The zuz is reckoned at 0.384g of pure silver; therefore, if your daughter is a virgin, 76.8g of silver is an appropriate price (N.B,: the troy ounce is 31.102g). A non-virgin daughter is not assigned a value in the Torah, but the Sages decreed that she should be valued at at least 100 zuzim.

    If you don’t know whether your daughter is a virgin, shame on you for neglecting your parental responsibilities. Fear not, however; Rabban Gamliel the son of Rabbi figured this out 1800 years ago.

  3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    The laws of modesty (tznius) forbid the touching of any woman (save one’s wife) in a romantic way (derekh hibba) whether they are menstruating or not.

    If you can’t tell whether or when your wife is menstruating, you have non-Halakhic problems that I can’t help you with.

  4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    Actually, it is technically forbidden to own any slave. The reason is that it is forbidden to own any non-circumcised slave (or, in the case of women, who have not been purified in the mikvah). However, a slave who is circumcised (or purified) must them go free in the Sabbatical or the Jubilee Year (Exodus 21:2, Leviticus 25:8-55).

  5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    You are forbidden to kill him yourself. The death penalty may only be administered by a court of 23 ordained rabbis (see tractate Sanhedrin). Since there are no genuinely ordained rabbis (and won’t be until Elijah returns), no competent court can be convened.

  6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    Eating shellfish is definitely the lesser abomination. The Talmud and those Rishonim who have commented on the subject agree that there are three mitzvot which may not be violated even under threat of death: murder, forbidden sexual relations, and idol worship. Since the laws of kashrut are not among these, they may be violated for the sake of saving a life (including ne’s own life).

  7. Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    Blindness in one eye (or, of course, both) is considered to exempt one from the positive commandment to approach the altar (in effect, to make pilgrimage to Jerusalem).

  8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

    They will suffer "death by the hand of Heaven".

  9. I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    Yes, provided that afterwards you immerse yourself in a valid mikvah.

  10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

You can’t do either; see the answer to question e).

You didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway: I know you’re trying to be funny. Next time, though, ttry to find some questions that haven’t been answered in three thousand years.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 25 Feb, 2002 12:14

A rant about world opinion

A link to the VodkaPundit, and a reproduction of a comment I made on the Arab-Israeli conflict (which probably used about 5K of his space quota. ::sigh:: I'll figure out the etiquette of blogging Real Soon Now, I promise).

It all depends on where the complaining (about actually reaching an equitable settlement in the Middle East) is coming from.

Western Europe is lethargic, decadent, and anti-Semitic. The Arab/Muslim world is primitive (medieval at best), anti-Semitic, and anti-American. Any objections from those regions can be written off with a "what did we expect"?

To most of the rest of the world, Islamofascist terrorism and the War on Terrorism are, at best, a brief item on the nightly news radio broadcast. Comments, criticisms, and complaints from these areas should be listened to, but if they're just parroting the European line in hopes of a handout, they too can be ignored.

The critical areas, where we ought to be taking comments seriously, are:

  • China (we should listen to them -- but not let them dictate to us -- because of their real power)
  • Russia (because of their potential power, and because they'd like to get back in the game)
  • India (democratic, uses English as a lingua franca, has also suffered from Islamofascist terrorism, natural and obvious ally)
  • Vietnam (natural counterweight to China, appears to be getting over this Marxist silliness)
  • Turkey (has been striving -- and largely successfully -- to secularize and Westernize since Atatürk. Dissed by Europe because real countries are Christian, like them)
  • Israel (obviously)

John "Akatsukami" Braue 25 Feb, 2002 12:16

I master my emotions...for now

I think Liz is OK; her travails seem in part to have been caused by a spot of, ahem, female troubles (you won't catch me saying "PMS").

Anyway, I think that I've written enough to her and about her. Any more would earn me a well-deserved clout to the ear.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 25 Feb, 2002 12:17

Growing Panic

Connectivity truly sucks today; half the time I can't access anything. And I'm worried about Liz.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 24 Feb, 2002 12:19

Ripped from the heart, if not the headlines

Damn. Liz is really hurting right now, and I don't have anything to offer her but empty platitudes. I hope that someone wiser than I can explain it to her. I've tried, but I expect that I've completely screwed it up, and will only end up making things worse.

John "Akatsukami" Braue 24 Feb, 2002 12:22